Flamin Crackers

2010-08-01T14:15:00.002+08:00

School's starting again.

It's been way too long since i've written anything here. Just been, well, too lazy to. Plus i don't know or think if anyone still reads this blog.

Doing relief at ACS(P) has really made me see the new generations of AC boys, and honestly, i'm not too hopeful. Teaching them for that long period of time makes me apprehensive towards having kids. really.

Taiwan was fun, and it was great to get out of Singapore for a while. Shopping was disappointing though.

And oh yes. I found out i was severely screwed over.

When i watch How I Met Your Mother, i think many people laugh at Barney's 'Bro Code'. Admittedly, a lot of the clauses in it are just for comedic effect, and to emphasize Barney's way of life.

However, there's one part i have to agree. The one that bros never go after a girl which another bro has an interest in.

You screwed me over, and you don't even seem to know how much it hurt me.

Every time i try to do something, the ending seems to become worse and worse. I seriously hope neither of them were my fault.

This is seriously fucked up.

Now as i am 24 hours from becoming a Law Yr1 Student, i hope i can put all this behind me, and concentrate on what's important. my degree.

It's still hard to forget, and for the sake of all our friends, i have tried to forgive. Forget? don't count on it.

2010-03-18T17:12:00.002+08:00

Not many people still come here. thus this makes it the best place on the world-wide-web to express myself these days.

For the last 3 weeks, i've been doing some reflection about myself. I don't understand one thing though.

I've seen some of the people i know (not naming names). They can go to clubs, pick up girls (who they know are already in a relationship), get them high and drag them back to their pads (with a devil-may-care attitude to boot).

Well other kind souls like us, who refuse to prey on drunk women (and have some respect for girls, and don't treat them like objects of lust like most men), can't have the girl they want.

Let me think. i'm funny, i'm witty, i'm a (going to be at least) law student, i'm not in to fool around.

what's wrong with me? i just don't get how God works sometimes. is showing respect to all those around me a wrong thing?

should i adopt a hell-be-care attitude?

i will not compromise myself.

these few weeks have also made me feel pretty bored. most of my friends are studying (either overseas or locally, doesn't really make a difference to me). everyone is busy, and i'm lonely.

now i fully appreciate what my friends bring to the table. now that i'm missing it, i'm appreciate it more.

quite like human nature no? you only appreciate something when it's gone.

i have a few mysteries left in my life. one of them has been (for the last 4 years) and is up north. maybe i should blatantly push aside the obstacles (like some people i know).

no i'm not that kind of person.

my life is a confusing mess recently.

2010-03-01T00:41:00.003+08:00

and so it's over.

if only you would have given us a chance. what's more, you know you should have.

i've nothing to say. i just hope we'll still be friends.

i pray that you'll be happy.

2010-02-27T01:37:00.002+08:00

this has been one of the worst 48 hours of my life. I've resorted to watching ahead of my 8pm VV Drama series, playing crazy amounts of Rome Total War: Barbarian Invasion and drinking whisky and beer to get me through without thinking that much.

however, when i'm alone, my mind wonders.

i find out my fate tmr. all i plead

It's the little things They pulled me in and I'm defenceless I try to ignore like I've done before but it's just useless  I've made up my mind that I'm gonna let you in And I'm not afraid but I have to say  This is gonna hurt if it ever ends But somehow you out shattered my defence This is gonna hurt if it ever starts So promise you'll be careful with my heart  It's the things you do They made me fall hard for you and I can't help it And it's every day that I feel this way So just don't stop it  I've made up my mind that I'm gonna let you in And I'm not afraid but I have to say  This is gonna hurt if it ever ends But somehow you out shattered my defence This is gonna hurt if it ever starts So promise you'll be careful with my heart  I won't make excuses They just all seem useless You don't have the time I guess I'll take my chances now that I know love is on the line  This is gonna hurt if it ever ends But somehow you out shattered my defence This is gonna hurt if it ever starts So promise you'll be careful with my heart  Careful with my heart Careful with my heart

i have no further things to say.

2010-02-21T21:39:00.002+08:00

it wasn't great to be back. down with tonsillitis ever since SQ 319 landed at Changi Airport, so this is my first time blogging about my trip, and whatever i've been thinking about ever since CNY.

I could give a city by city run-down of my trip, which i will shortly, but the experience of travelling along alone with a bunch of guys is really different then with your parents. You have to be careful, and watch out for one another. quite different.

London:

I love London. It's easy to get around, and people aren't so judgy about Asian dudes here. Vibes in London are always great, olden architecture mixed with modern culture and amenities. awesome. Necessities are almost everywhere, with Sainsbury and Tesco all just around the corner.

Liverpool:

A much smaller city, with Anfield obviously being the main attraction, but we still got lost trying to find a Tesco at 2300hrs, and got caught in snow and hail. Still pleasant enough.

Glasgow:

Too dark and gloomy and night, didn't see much of it in the day. Architecture at Glasgow Central Train station was good though.

The Scottish Highlands:

Better in summer, but still great in winter. You could picture Scottish clansmen charging down, claymore in hand, hewing down rows of Redcoats.

Edinburgh:

Typical Scottish city, castles and the Royal Mile, and not much else.

Madrid:

Rather unsafe, people not as friendly as in Barcelona, hard to find a fast food. But Chinese storekeepers do help in pointing out thieves.

Barcelona:

Much much nicer that Madrid, with better weather and more friendly people.

Paris:

Helps if you speak French, but no city in the world oozes such class and atas-ness

Ok now that i'm back from Europe, i have a few priorities

1) Find a bloody job

2) Start reading some of my legal books

3) Solve my other problem

3 would be hard, but i must do it. There's too much in common for me to throw it away.

2010-01-14T11:13:00.002+08:00

I haven't been here for a while.

It's been quite an interesting week. Made better by the fact that i've managed to purchase tickets to Man U vs Man City (27th Jan, Carling Cup S-finals), and Liverpool vs Bolton (EPL 30 Jan).

Compared to the United ticketing sales office, the Liverpool one was really amateurish. I think we spent 15 USD on Skype credits to try to get onto the queue for tickets. Plus it didn't help that the stupid Anfield Road song plays during the queue, and also the advert for Anfield Stadium tours.

But oh well. everything's done well. and it's slightly more than a week to London! and 7 days to ORD!. single digits!

Recently i've been pondering about the effect of not-seeing-someone-on-a-more-frequent-basis on attraction. It sucks that i don't see her that often. but still, busy is busy.

I've been thinking about giving up, but i don't give up, not unless the outcome is 100% certain. I have to try. she's too special to me for me to give up like that. zzzzzzz

ok xin if you are reading this you're right. i'm emo.

wahahaha

i can stay awake, just to hear you breathing.........

2009-12-20T01:56:00.003+08:00

no one every reads here anymore. which is good. it's like a little private piece of me i can keep publicly.

I think it's hard to maintain a proper relationship over the sms/facebook/msn. it sucks that i can't see you more often. it really feels that it's over before it even had a chance to begin.

orion is right, i am quite sensitive to these kind of things.

i think the further the distance, the greater the pining. oh wells. i just hope you liked the book.

难以忘记初次见你　一双迷人的眼睛
在我脑海里　你的身影　挥散不去
握你的双手感觉你的温柔
真的有点透不过气　你的天真　我想珍惜
看到你受委屈　我会伤心

只怕我自己会爱上你　不敢让自己靠的太近
怕我没什么能够给你　爱你也需要很大的勇气

只怕我自己会爱上你　也许有天会情不自禁

想念只让自己苦了自己　爱上你是我情非得已

爱上你是我情非得已

i really like you.. it's just..

2009-12-13T01:58:00.002+08:00

Man i go in to take a shower, Utd go a goal down. bleh

anyway it's 12 days to christmas, and with all the songs blaring around everywhere i go, it seems only fitting that i post a christmas song here.

One that quite appropriately reflects my mood now. This time last year i was just jilted, so it was emo.

This year, i'm still emo. but for a completely different reason. It sucks to be spending Christmas alone. I mean i still have all my guys, but something is missing. I pray that God can grant me this desire.

Bleh

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas tree

I just want you for my own

More than you will ever know

Make my wish come true

All i want for Christmas

Is you...

I don't think i need to continue. I must say, i'm getting fonder of all the oldies Christmas classics.

Oh well last week of camp life! plus i can stay out. so yeah. woots

I hope you liked the book, i remembered you liking stuff like that, so yeah.

There's so much more i want to say to you. but i'm going slow.

2009-12-10T19:18:00.000+08:00

i am really looking forward to nippon. haha

these last few days haven't been as productive as i hoped. i've only done 5 cards. and i'm going nowhere.

bleh

i don't understand how hard it is. Maybe it's the lack of interaction.

2009-11-10T20:21:00.000+08:00

maybe it's for the best. the inability to communicate on a regular basis.

it keeps those memories fresh. a pining to return to them is still fresh...

man

2009-11-07T22:28:00.001+08:00

i don't know why all the symptoms all came back.

it sucks. but still. i think i prefer to be alone.

alone with you.

i'm reading too much into this.

2009-11-01T01:04:00.002+08:00

I think girls have a special time-lag bubble around their handphones. It takes ages for them to reply. bleh.

that time waiting can be quite painful. The most common feeling you get when you're interested. lol

give us a chance.

2009-10-20T12:43:00.002+08:00

It's feels great to have a long long weekend. haha

But the feeling is soured by the fact that it's quite hard to follow up when you remain uncontactable.

via normal means i mean. of course i've a straight line, but i don't want to use it.

josh was right. it's a fine fine line, and how do i straddle that line? i think i've crossed it in my previous attempts, but still.

argh

2009-10-01T14:56:00.002+08:00

I tend to only do this when i'm on duty clerk. Weird that this duty clerk for today was told to me only ytd. vark.

And now there are more stupid rules concerning duty clerk jobs, so much so that i want to be angry and say it all here, but hey. Breach of security.

ORD LO. haha 2 more months of this and i'm out of here. wheeeee

It's incredibly hard to deal with 'loneliness'. I always feel better when i have someone around to talk to. Not about random stuff, but important things.

And it's really crazy, but i don't think i have seen someone so like me before. Not amongst guys and especially not amongst the girls. So i think this is natural. But still...
The overwhelming feeling from my past really holds me back. i tend to think way too much, and thus over-analyze a situation, when i should have just gone in all guns blazing.

Yes when i'm back to these kind of ramblings you, dear reader, should know what's going on in my life now.. bleh

(In other happenings)
I seriously hope i don't kena duty for december, let me throw smoke can? And my wisdom tooth op planning is seriously flawed. one month for consulation, one month for x-ray? by time i can pull i'll need my teeth for europe.. bleh.
And thang is gone! well he'll be serving his extended SPAR DB at ryan's house. i meant chris. wahaha

2009-09-22T20:49:00.002+08:00

It's weird that i feel like blogging again. Oh well

Stupid new people in camp today. Can't believe that spending so long in Tekong has made one mute.

'What's your name?'
'Mumble-wumble'
'I'm sorry?'
'MUMBLE-WUMBLE'

bloody unintellegible sods. haha

Pierre said i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. haha might have been true. Now with all the 'extra' stuff we have to do cos of the new guys, i thank my lucky stars i have less than 4 months to the sweet release of ORD.
ORD LO ORD LO ORD LO.

I should rant less and talk more sense. then again, ranting is a good way to express my anger without punching my hand through a wall.

I am an idealist, like i'm a cynic. CY thought that being weird. but oh well.
Reading ' Men In White' has left me seething at the duplicity that is politics. But well, i sound naive. haha. LKY sounds like quite a doush-bag, but who am i to comment?

Ok we're back in the lovey-dovey phrase. haha

This thing called love I just can't handle it
this thing called love I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Crazy little thing called love
This (This Thing) called love
(Called Love)
It cries (Like a baby)
In a cradle all night
It swings (Woo Woo)
It jives (Woo Woo)
It shakes all over like a jelly fish,
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called love

There goes my baby
She knows how to Rock n' roll
She drives me crazy
She gives me hot and cold fever
Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat

I gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my track's
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I'm ready
Crazy little thing called love

I gotta be cool relax, get hip
Get on my track's
Take a back seat, hitch-hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I'm ready (Ready Freddie)
Crazy little thing called love

This thing called love I just can't handle it
this thing called love I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love
Crazy little thing called love

2009-09-20T08:04:00.002+08:00

Ok i'm stuck here for duty. and i think (maybe wrongly, but still i think) that here is much more secretive than my facebook which people DO read. So i'm using this as an avenue to say what i needed to say for, well, about 30 hours.

I don't know how God decides this, but the thought-process (if you can call it that) is worth pondering. Does he throw 2 random people together and decide that sparks should fly?

I don't think i've seen myself connect on such a close level on the first (well second actually) time. let me think back.

Number one was mostly on a sub-primal level. I just felt i needed to take the plunge. The first time i felt good (like i'd achieved something, but after that, it kinda feel apart)

In the event of number 2, i don't think i really planned for it to go that way. i guess it was just the loneliness. well, dear reader, that didn't go to well too

Fast-forward to number 3, and i'm not going to let this fall apart. I am not, as what Keith feared, doing this just for the sake of it. It's because i believe in our compatibility. and plus, she's sweet.

wish me all the best folks.

2009-07-19T17:39:00.003+08:00

I haven't blogged here for ages. If there are still people reading this blog, trying to see whether i have updated my life, well i'm sorry. There's nothing much going on.

No target.no life.

everything just hinges about ORD. ORD. ORD.

ORD LO

Haha it feels great that we've booked our flight to London and back, finally we can seriously start planning EuroTravelinga 2010.

london.manchester.liverpool.edinburgh.inverness.glasgow.barcelona.madrid.

so far at least. wow it's going to burn a huge hole in my pocket. That and my new DSLR. at least 4.5k i hope.

ok i am interested, but what can i do?

Randomness is actual the ability to know when to be random. clear?

2009-04-22T20:02:00.002+08:00

It's almost the end of april. I don't think i've blogged here since CNY. i think

well so to all (if any) readers of this blog. I'm back. For the time being

I use this outlet to vent most of my frustrations. over the last few months, there definitely have been many.

To the daily frustrations of camp (and the many idiots that you are forced to work with), to the blandness (sorry orion and kang ahha) of weekend life recently due to the YLLSoM (med school) people having to mug non-stop for their exams.

To the fact that i haven't really been able to go out with other people besides my good friends. I think you know what i mean.

I would love to have differing company some of the time. No offence to the guys i always go out with, especially recently (again 2LT orion and Guardsman Kang). But variety is the spice of life, no?

really when i was helping wei liang interview people for the ORD video (which doesn't apply to me because i don't ORD in june :(), i was surprised when he said my talking skills is quite good

i realised that i have to think longer to reply people, not like last time. And sometimes i just blurt out rubbish. like the audrey hepburn thing. sorry xin if you are reading this.

really. I've been continuing my reading. I've even bought second-hand law books to read up b4 i go in (to NUS, not NS). But the brain rot + excessive testosterone (i.e horniness) + sheer stupidity really leaves you incapable of bolstering your 'smartness' when you're not inside.

today marks 9 months till pink-ic day. woo hoo

2009-02-28T00:16:00.002+08:00

i think this is the first time in a long time that i have blogged here. i prefer using facebook notes now.

i'm pissed off at a certain treant protector for organizing rt last minute, and forcing people to come back and do stores. for fuck.

damn

i'm angry.

2009-01-25T17:49:00.001+08:00

xin nian kuai le!

yeah my hanyu-pinyin is not that bad anymore

I wonder why i take comfort and solace in my computer these days.

maybe it's to make up for the complete and utter lack of a social life.
maybe it's to make myself laugh.
maybe it's to drown my own sorrows, haven't been drinking much

life's a drone.

i can't believe i've struck out twice.

2009-01-18T10:50:00.002+08:00

Actually i find that although i don't think many people read here, it just gives me peace to write. It's like soldiers surrounded by a bloody-thirsty enemy, just waiting for death, turning to letters they no will never get to their families for peace.

i had this discussion with a friend recently, about the state of our lives for the next 10-12 months (before civilian life resumes)

It's true. I have no really aim or goal in life for 2009. I'm just floating around till the sweet release arrives.

Ok maybe one. Get my drivers license

But still. I'll make up for it in 2010. I'm sure of it.

They say i can't blog about my life here. Security breach.

Well if our enemy wants to know the morale of our agency, read wikipedia.

Like it isn't obvious enough. damn

2009-01-10T11:14:00.002+08:00

I don't know why i've been blogging less and less. Maybe it's because there's lesser interesting stuff to talk about anymore. And i really don't want to bitch about camp here. Because what i say here may be constrewened as talking about 'top-secret' ration states, and i'll be moving next door

to DB that is

it was a bit weird to see guys i knew from AC at 41. especially my new 'reporting-too' guy justin

pressure for-wat?

10 days to President Obama! and previous president bush

and a damn funny video for all the dota (doh-duh) players.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuAfbxOTYSM

picking up my Sec 4 A-Maths stuff again. I can't believe this. haha. saving for Europe!

2009-01-01T02:42:00.001+08:00

I don't think i've blogger here since i left.

So HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!
haha

here's to a slacker 2009, and for the economy to pick up, and for President Obama to do well.

2008-12-06T11:11:00.002+08:00

Ok so i've booked my TP test. 23 Feb

It seems slightly squeezed, but thanks to a flurry of last-minutes (and expensive) bookings, i should be able to squeeze in enough time to be ready for the test. yaay

This week is packing weekend! First time in a long time that i'm not packing for ATEC/Audit et al. I'm packing cos my luggage is going ahead of me to NY.

Ahhhhh.. bliss

When i was picking up my sis from the airport ytd, me and my mom were talking about what it would be like if my sis joined up as a SIA stewardess..

'Good evening! Welcome about Singapore Airlines Flight ___ bound for ____! I'm your chief stewardess for this flight! blah blah blah'

than i realised that my sis wasn't tall enough to close the overhead bins

haha i was bored at T3. No excitement unless you're flying off.

11 more days!

It's weird. It hasn't hurt that much. ah well
my hormones are dormant.

2008-11-28T21:05:00.004+08:00

It's almost been a week! haha

Somehow the pain/anger/denial has subsided. Mostly because of my impending trip. Takes my mind of it.

No hard feelings. let us go back to where we used to be ok?

Nah i doubt you'll read this blog anymore.

I like having 2 day weeks. it's good. Better when it's abrupt and sudden. Increases the pleasure.

2 major events this week. Madness in Bangkok, and Massacre in Mumbai.

Firstly. No one condones terrorism. Innocents should not pay for political gain.
(This can be said of both cases)

But the incapability of the Indian authorities amazes me. It's been 48 hours since the attack, and there are still gunfights and bombs going off over the city.

(shifting to somewhere closer to home)

I think the PAD should change their name. To People who Oppose Democracy.

Seriously, their idea of democracy means giving more power to elites, and making sure that the rural poor have no say in government.

And to disrupt the International Airport is really too much. Don't you know how much harm this does to your own country?

Bleh the world is becoming stupider and stupider. I hope i don't get called a terrorist when i'm at immigrations at JFK.

Yeah, a North Korean spy. haha

2008-11-21T15:55:00.002+08:00

I feel like listing down all the places around the world that i have been to. It's the holiday excitement mood i think..

I'm really fortunate.

SOUTH-EAST ASIA:

Johore Bahru, Kuala Lumpur, Melaka, Taman Negara, Penang, Tioman (Malaysia)

Phuket, Chiang Mai, Bangkok (Thailand)

Jakarta (Indonesia)

NORTH-EAST ASIA:

Hong Kong

Kunming, Lijiang, Shanghai, Hangzhou, Suzhou, Beijing, Xi'an (China)

Taipei (Taiwan)

Seoul (South Korea)

Tokyo (Japan)

AUSTRALASIA

Perth (Australia)

Auckland, Christchurch (New Zealand)

NORTH AMERICA

New York City, Boston, Washington D.C, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Orlando, Honolulu (USA)

EUROPE

Rome (Italy)
Paris (France)
Lucerne (Switzerland)
London, Manchester, Cambridge (UK)

Man this brings back memories.. haha

25 more days! endure! your reward is ALMOST here!

2008-11-21T00:19:00.002+08:00

26 days to me leaving my house (alone) to take the MRT (haha) to CG2 station

21 days to my leave starting

When i first did this, i didn't believe that i would be doing this again. but i have. So i've nothing to say except that irony really bites you in the arse..

I don't know whether you've read it. I don't know.

But it's true. everything in it is true.

2008-11-18T18:20:00.002+08:00

I'm enjoying Day 1 of my super-long weekend..

watched Avenue Q on sunday, although the themes are quite mature, and the puppet sex scene made ben and chris cringe. But i completely enjoyed it the humour. I feel it really hit a chord with the problems of the modern world.

Favourite Quotes:

'If you were gay, i'll be ok! If you were queer, i'll still be here!' (haha ben this is your fav phrase...'

'Princeton, you sent me that really sweet online birthday card!
But what do you think he was doing after that?
EWWW.."

'It's in your DNA, you're gay!'

'How did you get 10 million dollars, Treckie Monster?
In volatile market, only one safe investment, PORN!'

Had a blast, and the fact that the week's only one day long. i'm happy

Had lunch today after physio with Chris and Zong at the NUS Science Fac canteen.

The shao ya mian wasn't good, but for 2 bucks no complain. It was fun seeing most of them again, especially ee chong who seemed too enthu haha...

i did it. now i leave my fate in God's hands.

2008-11-11T15:57:00.002+08:00

I've not really enjoyed my long weekend. But it's been good. I've had a break. I've picked up "Attila, The Judgement' by William Napier, and both my NUS Law textbooks for reading.

I think now that my audit's over, and there's not much to do (well at least not this week, with Combat Shoot coming up), i would like to continue my intellectual pursuits.

E.g:
Reading my law textbooks
Hoping that I'm selected to give this guy the combo tuition (S3 Phy, Chem, History)
And writing something good on this blog, which i don't think i have since 250108.

with the year winding down, and 36 days more till i board QR 639 for Doha (and QR84 for New York-JFK), i think this year (and the next) should go by faster.

But there's been a lot happening. Mostly economic, which unfortunately i don't have too great a grasp on.
and of course the election of Sen. (not President-elect) Barack Obama.

i don't really like the title President-elect. haha

Congrats to you, Sir. And although i didn't like John McCain's campaign, and particular thought the nomination of Sarah Palin was really dumb. I applaud his gracious concession speech. It showed real class and dignity. His supporters, though, aren't that gracious i think

I think it's unrealistic to expect Pres. Obama to fulfill every single one of his promises during the camp. I think some of them were just off-the-top-of-the-head stuff to get votes. I just hope that during this first 2 years of his Presidency, he revives America's place as the sole RESPONSIBLE AND MORAL world power. He revives America's reputation abroad. He seeks multilaterism, not unilaterism.

and i hope the economy picks up with him in charge.

So Palin '12? please go look at a map and find out that Africa's not a country, and that no one really cares about the province of Kamchatsky (Alaska's Russian neighbour)

haha

I thought Quantum of Solace wasn't that bad. Daniel Craig is actually a pretty good Bond, though much different from Pierce Brosnan. Managed to show the inner conflict between OO7 Bond, on Her Majesty's Secret Service, and Bond who can't forget Vesper.

Olga Kurylenko is just exotic. haha. Ukrainian actress playing a Bolivian Secret Service Agent? haha

Storyline way too fast. 6 countries no? haha

I'm just looking forward to Valkryie.

'Mein Fuhrer, may I present Oberst. von Stauffenberg.'

and the kid inside me is looking forward to Madagascar 2. especially King Julien XIII (Sasha Baron Cohen aka Borat), and the military penguins.

'Will it fly, Kowalski?'
'Yes, if you fold like this, this and this. (throws)'
'Nice.'

Oh yes and Avenue Q next Sun! can't wait.

The happiest thing that will happen to me will be when I hear this.

'Ladies and Gentlement, Qatar Airways flight 639 for Doha is ready for boarding. Passengers with infants are encouraged to board first.'

ahh my holiday has begun.

Or, it will be when i get a positive response.

This is the longest i've posted in quite a while.

2008-11-09T22:03:00.002+08:00

i realised that my blog posts are getting shorter, and more incoherent, and mostly about camp..

so since i'm done with audit, and taking 2 days MC, so i'll blog about other stuff..

hmmm i used to like irony, but i think ironically irony is biting me in the arse.. wahahah

ok time to buckle down to do it..

i've been saying this too many times..

2008-11-02T11:00:00.002+08:00

audit this week. damn

i hate this. but yet, it means it'll be over soon.. argh i'm past caring

i'm caring about other people

about others. about those i care for..

argh

2008-10-17T22:11:00.002+08:00

i am about to snap.

i don't think my brain can take this much longer.. i can't wake up everyday dreading that something worse will happen..

bleh...

i've lost the joy in my life.

2008-10-05T12:54:00.001+08:00

ok so thang is gone.

bleh it's 13 years. all the best!

final theory is really boring.. and i used that time wisely i hope. bleh

2008-10-01T03:33:00.002+08:00

I realised that i've not posted a good blog entry here for a while. So sorry, i've been either busy or sian when i've been at home.

The time now is 0336, 011008, and i should be sleeping. But i'm watching Man U lead Aalborg 1-0. so i guess i'm happy.

I thought that after ATEC, life would get better, apparently it hasn't. There's still the stupid audits.

With my stores in a huge mess, and the lack of a proper recording system for ages, i'm screwed big.

Doesn't help that my only storeman is on ORD-mood. So is his whole bunk. fuck

And that the new boss has no idea that such a phrase exists "if it's not broken, don't fix it!'

damn i hate people who give me extra work to do. especially for reasons that are just stupid and long-winded.

Ok i'm going to enjoy this very long weekend. I need to think

why i've put this off for so long
why am i unable to put myself together to do this?
why can't i say what's really on my mind?
what's holding me back?

maybe it's the nagging feeling that it's not going to work out. that i might lose a friend so dear to me.

but the thing is

i can't go it alone. i feel incomplete without her. it's been a while since i've felt this way. in between i've plunged recklessly into things that i now regret.

damn time's running out! tick tick tick..

2008-09-28T19:43:00.000+08:00

happy because of the 2 day work-week.

it's going to be a tiring 2 days though..

bleh

E51... mm..

haha Singapore F1 race! so cool

I COULD HAVE BEEN THERE... ARGH..

2008-09-13T19:22:00.002+08:00

i take out the papers today..

'BUS AND MRT FARES TO RISE'

bleddy hell..

i think some of the stuff i read in that article makes me shake my head and sigh. It's the same ridiculous stuff we hear all the time when there's such an increase.

1) Some people actually pay less after the 'adjustments'
yeah, those are the people that don't take the bus after the increases.

2) It's still cheaper than places like New York, London, Hong Kong etc...
another example of double standards. When we talk compare other stuff (education, political freedom etc) we say that Singapore is unique, and that we should not use other places as benchmarks for Singaporean society. now, when we attempt to make something 'uniquely Singapore', we compare with others. as usual, it's political maneuvering to make comparisons only when it's beneficial to you-know-who..

3) We need to increase prices to continue to improve our service!
i think i speak for most singaporeans when i say that we don't need airline stewardess services on our buses. i personally think the level of service our public transport provides is adequate for our needs. we don't need excessive services.

few things i would like to mention as well:

1) Public transport is not a privilege, it's an essential item..
although i applaud the intention of giving transportation vouchers to needy families, i think we shouldn't have the impression that if you're 'not needy', you should pay more. It's the role of the authorities to provide assistance for every citizen. We should ensure that NO ONE feels the pinch of travelling by bus/MRT.

2) PLEASE give concessions to us poor NSFs!
eh the SAF ez-link card is just a normal card with my ugly CMPB photo on it. please. we don't earn much, and the least our government could do for us is to give us bus concessions.

bleh this is the result of illiberal democracy.

(in other news)

TEVEZ!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-07T14:45:00.001+08:00

i tried to make some political commentary here, but i couldn't do it yesterday. my brain's too fogged (f-ed) up.

ok

so after talking today. i'm going to do it. i'm going to do it. i'm going to try.

nuff said.

2008-09-06T16:27:00.001+08:00

i haven't done this in a long time...

chilling out with my mac, and surfing and randomly blogging using public internet.

makes me think i was back in school. makes me forget that I'M GOING FOR F-ING ATEC!

bleddy hell...

argh 28 hours till book in time...

2008-08-31T17:40:00.002+08:00

soon i'll have to go back to camp, do my techsign that actually doesn't need to be done.

but at least today, i had a nice break.

talking actually brings out the best (and worst) of people. talking to you made me think back, made me go back to a place where i was happier (relatively)

it made me remember why it happened in the first place, why you'll always have a special place in there.

damn it.

have fun in kings daph, all the best..

2008-08-24T19:56:00.001+08:00

thanks to all who have made my day better than it actually was..

bloody mud.bloody inexhaustible numbers of ice mountain and 100Plus, bloody stupidity of it all. bloody cold and hot one after another. bloody cleaning of stores.

what a day.

happy birthday to me...

2008-08-22T01:54:00.002+08:00

We toil and toil...

to protect an image which does not exist
to defend an ideal that no one cares about
to amplify something we don't believe in

damn lah do your cheap free saikang labour also want us to follow all those insane rules..

damn all those unpragmatic, crazy siao people who cannot do anything else with their lives..

haha one more medal for singapore! whee we should get off

2008-08-21T15:46:00.000+08:00

time for AHM saikang!

bleh 41 is pressure for wad? lol

damn surprises, damn this birthday week

2008-08-17T17:33:00.003+08:00

ok my weekend just got burned, thanks to our famous 'incident' and my kompanie oberfeldwebel.. and a trash bag for good measure

next week, also will get burnt thanks to AHM. argh 19th with cambros and water points. damn

argh

one thing i read about in doonesbury interested me. i always like trudeau and doonesbury. It's a great analysis about human social behaviours more than anything..

so here goes. This strip (unfortunate i can't post it here in pictures, so the dialogue will have to do)

"Today, my lieutenant told me to stop blogging. He said that my description of daily life here in Iraq is against security, and that it also would be detrimental to morale of the unit.
Luckily for all you readers out there. the CO is also a reader of this blog, and he told the lt. that freedom of expression is one of the reasons why we're out here fighting. To defend and protect our way of life.'

ironic, no? I don't dare post much here already, i'm fearful for my life.

argh it's a troubling dilemma i am in now.

it's hard to say. the fear that holds you back, tugs at your heart. the fear of losing what you already have.

it's like a gamble, no?

haha on a funnier side, take a look at this parody. haha Der Fuhrer also has problems of his own (i mean besides the war and the Jews)

and LET'S GO SINGAPORE! haha well done to our paddlers. let's silence the 5000 'zhong guo jia you' guys and bring back gold! (and hopefully a holiday too!)

2008-08-10T01:32:00.002+08:00

today is national day

a day to celebrate what our little irritating red dot has achieved over the last 43 years. and it's not little, by any standards.

then why do i feel like migrating after i finish my uni here?

nothing worse than hanging around at kino, waiting to go for a lunch with friends,
then getting recalled to camp cos SOME IDIOTS DID SOMETHING STUPID YESTERDAY!
i would swear here, but people read this (i hope), and i promised not to be my SAF self out of camp.

recalled on national day, no off on mon despite every other camp having one. ATEC-onness.

i think wayanging is part of the national psyche.
and miss, half of the people in singapore know what a number 1 uniform is, thank you.

and why must they use the stupid marching song every time for every performance. damn

the irony, i think i haven't sang majulah singapura since the first day of BMT. weird.

i love my country, i just don't like the way we portray that love.

if we de-emphasized our main NE, i think most singaporeans my age would not develop that adversion we all have to NE.

i think i'm just bitter. i think it's because i don't have my pink IC

yes and the SAR21 is not a parade weapon. bring back our old M16s for such use. haha

rushing from kranji to town and back isn't fun on the watch and ez-link card. but rockband and karaoke was real fun. thanks to zoni for accomodating us.

ok i think supporting contingents shouldn't need to sing songs and march in. reminds me of the SA in 1936.

and i found today's article in ST about 'why they hate singapore' horrendously arrogant. are we saying that our systems work and other's don't? if western systems didn't work, we wouldn't have the backbone of our economy right now. everything in this world is about accomodating and accepting. so please.

argh i want to ORD

2008-08-03T11:08:00.001+08:00

i don't know why i feel this dread and hopelessness into me now..
i don't want to go back to there anymore..
damn

2008-07-27T20:23:00.002+08:00

i'm going to occupy myself with 'war and peace', leo tolstoy's masterpiece..

i think my back's becoming worse. shit it's getting more irritating than ever..

mon empereur, the russians have formed up their army against us!
finally, a chance to get rid of kutuzov and his pesky little army. prepare the men, davout.
yes sir.

and to this, we marched into the open steppes of Borodino, and attempted to eliminate Marshal Kutuzov's men once and for all.

ok i cannot write.

haha it's hard to find you know, something that fits all my pre-requisites

2008-07-24T21:52:00.002+08:00

i think the posting gods don't like me

41SAR? really? wth

haha so quick march to kranji camp 2, for 1.5 years of staying in. yeah man so cool...

i hope for a good OC/CSM so i can be more free

i hope that something good comes out of my back scans
good as in you know..

i hope for the best in my non-SAF goals..

kompaniequartiermeister, panzer-abiletung nr 41.

man i should put that on my desk or smth

2008-07-20T20:37:00.002+08:00

one more week of STC!

that includes 2 days of watching movies, one day of hoping for good posting, and one day of saying farewell

whee

i think going out is expensive. i'm going to give tuition (if i can stay out) to supplement my meagre 400 a month. shit.

and stuff is expensive too. 80 bucks a month of transport? really. wth

i like my dad's old K770i. i'm going to keep it, since he got a G900i. haha

money is short! really,

but there are some things money can't buy

c'est magnifique?

2008-07-14T22:22:00.001+08:00

jealousy is supposed to be an evil

yet it's a natural part of every human..

i'm jealous at those who have had such an experience. I wish it could happen for me..

then again, 50% is your own work, 50% is dependent on God..

damn constricted pupils..

2008-07-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

void

what does that mean?

the absence of something?

thinking about it..

2008-07-10T20:37:00.002+08:00

staying out is fun.

i'm was mugging my basic theory, till the point when i realised i don't need to mug it..

lol

Dining-in was really not that great.

programme didn't follow, food was WAY inadequate (in quantity), no free-and-easy section. so much stress and changes 5 min before the thing started.

damn only the sabohing of karaoke was fun.

thanks to all the guys (esp the med guys, not esp jimmy) for being so sporting. haha!

only had one can of beer, not helped by the fact i don't really like beer.

it helps that i've got a new bottle of absolut peach! only 21 dollars from DFS. woots

staying out is expensive, but it gives me time to read, reflect, and think.

brains and beauty? intriguing..

your hand in mine when we're intertwined everything's all right..
i wanna be with the one i love..

2008-07-08T08:52:00.002+08:00

i don't get why must we go SAFTI MI.

it's so out of the way, we're squeezing 120 trainees and instructors in a small room. The food is prepared by the cookhouse.
damn it.

well i hope i get all the info i need, i hope i don't screw up the MCing. whatever.

long conversation with a friend ytd nite. interesting stuff came out. ironically enough, i'm hearing this song now.

cos tonight's will be the night over again, don't make me change my mind...
a girl like you is impossible to find...

time to go for a cohesion day that i can't play in! woo hoo i'll be doing saikang. i hate doing saikang.

WHY DIDN'T WE GO TO CHEVRONS TO EAT INSTEAD!
so we could be tools in one man's 'glorious homecoming'

argh

2008-07-06T23:50:00.000+08:00

I HATE DC'S!!!

F F F F F F F F F

never thought i would say this, but

LET'S GO ROGER!

2008-07-05T22:37:00.003+08:00

ok playtime is over, and the playing can begin.

ironic no?

well 20 people sleeping in a tonner, plus a (let's just say to-the-book) conducting officer, to the 'CONTACTED CONTACTED!', to the 10 hours of 1/3 alert each day, to the constant packing-up and going away at 4 in the morning, to the sheer inaneness of it all.

thank God playtime is over. any bang sound i hear these days, i'm inclined to prone down and shout CONTACTED CONTACTED!

which brings me to shouting. shrilling to be precise.

(i can't believe i can't write a blog entry these days without backspacing to correct numerous grammatical errors)

i think what's more terrifying than the sound of an exploding grenade, or thunderflash, or even your CSM shouting at you is the sound of thousands of people shrilling and screaming.

oh shit excuse loud noise liao.. haha

well done anyways!

2008-06-29T23:02:00.002+08:00

it's been an interesting time.

i think next week would be a drag. the irony of the name. ex. playtime is equivalent to hell week for us logistics trainees.

ok i know that sounds dumb. compared to real hell weeks.

but the light at the end of this very long and stupid tunnel is at last in sight. so i guess time to stop complaining and START DOING IT. YEH!

haha i'm random.

for the first time, i've nothing running on tonite's final. i want germany to win. i think aragones is a f-ing racist bastard.

i hope that each step i take is leading me closer to my goal. i hope that everything i find out will help me in the long run. however, this run isn't that long. and that action has to be swift.

just need to get closer, closer
lean on me now, lean on me now.

i think that being in the minority in school was good. i've developed friendships that would not be just on coolness, but being supportive. i realised that 2 years on.

i may have spent 12 years in AC, but i'm not the archtypical AC guy.

and that suits me

2008-06-28T00:55:00.002+08:00

this post is dedicated to dr ben tan. who managed at long last to get into NUS med..

haha

it's interesting to hear how waiters misinterpret japanese sushi.

had a great time!

2008-06-22T20:06:00.002+08:00

My life is becoming a routine. Regimentation if you call it.

I'm bored.

Thursday is spent wishing for friday. Friday is spent hoping that book-out time doesn't exceed 5. Saturday is going out with friends. Sunday is spent dreading that Monday is coming again. I'll be back in my course.

I am happy to have made many friends in my time in school, and i'm truly grateful for each and every one of you.

But still, something's missing. honestly i don't know what it is. it's just there.

i've done some thinking back. thinking back at my experiences over the years.

i've realised that i can't relate with some. Some just live in a fantasy bubble, and just don't know when to stop whining and complaining.

i can't see what some see in them.

kinda like what we were talking about that day, sitting under the tree at that stupid landing ground.

men are from mars, women are from venus.

maybe if i never eliminate this thought... well well..

help la

2008-06-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

course is ending. i'm so happy.

can't wait to see the back of STC. where people lack common sense. really

seeing her on the bus today brought back memories. memories which really should have been buried at the back of my head. somehow it isn't so.

well well.

2008-06-14T03:30:00.002+08:00

back from tekong.

sanyongkong camp to be precise. i don't know why they call it that. it must mean 'loads of mosquitoes' or something. 20km of getting lost in the reclaimed land makes you have loads of bites. and a burn.

and a tingling sensation at the pits of your stomach.

help lah.

saw the helicasevac. can't stop thinking about that. weird that they never cancelled our activity. maybe 20km in the heat isn't strenuous enough. eh

are you so busy? reply lah... haha :)

anyone interested in placing a punt on holland to win euro 2008? leading 1-0 v france. italy screwing up at every turn.. interesting...

help lah.

2008-06-08T18:12:00.001+08:00

2h45min left till going back time.

double post! woo hoo

just have to say this, after snooping around..

MAKEUP OVERLOAD! MAKEUP OVERLOAD!

ok i'm done

2008-06-08T12:15:00.002+08:00

it's been too long since i've blogged.

as this week, i have to book back in on a sunday night (bloody hell), i'll do it now.

Going back to P.Tekong for ex. Sacred Odyssey (or was that secrets of the sea, i'll never understand encik english). Although it doesn't sound too bad, i'm just certain something will crop up out of nowhere in typical fashion and screw things up. I'm super sure about that.

well well suck thumb lor. i must plan my chao-kenging well.

damn czechs. make me lose 10 bucks yesterday. grrr

and i spent way too much money yesterday. around 60 i think

but i drank like 7 glasses of whisky and some soft drink. i think now i know what is being tipsy all about. no i don't think i was drunk.

catching up with all of them was great. waiting isn't.

what's it like to feel hope and hopelessness at the same time? what's it like to hope for success and yet have that nagging feeling of imminent failure too?

i don't know. i'll find out soon i guess.

2008-05-25T23:37:00.002+08:00

i'm done with COJT, now i have ex. stocktake...

grrr.. why must they shuffle up the groups. I'm irritated by that. we've been working out good for 9 weeks, i don't want to shuffle it up now

i hate guard duty, thank God i'm out of it. 16 hours of being stupid and not taking off my boots. riot turnout? really?

congrats to all the future MO's and doctors. i think the process has been tiring for all of us. yeh i'm tired too

not long enough weekend for me.

law school tea party. talking to deans were good. interesting to see who got in.
i think i enjoyed talking to nicoll and angie more than the people i knew.
says a lot..

2008-05-19T20:00:00.002+08:00

what a packed day..

now i'm super tired...

watched made of honour today. usual cheezy love flick, with the usual outcomes..

still it was a nice show. i think.

ironically i sympathize with tom. i have had almost exactly the same experiences, save the sleeping around.

talking to this girl for a long time, getting to the realization that i couldn't go on without her. going to tell her how i really fell only to find out that she's already attached.

haha

part 2 is more like present day. planning the perfect way.

i heard this song a long time ago. just heard it again. man i'm emo

Song lyrics | Stolen lyrics

2008-05-18T13:07:00.002+08:00

This just in. It hasn't sunk in yet..

You have been offered Law in academic year 2010 - 2011.
The details of the offer will be stated in the offer letter.
Your letter of offer was sent on 17-May-2008.
Please reply at the Joint Acceptance website by 02-Jun-2008.

WOO HOO!!!!

haha all praise to God!!!

haha give it a while to let it sink in...

2008-05-17T01:53:00.002+08:00

i've always this peevishness inside me...

it's not been helped by my previous mistakes, ill-luck in this. But no matter.

i realise i have been posting many of these ambiguous, emo posts up. I like things abstract. it's because i can't really think too straight now. All thanks to Sierra Alpha Foxtrot...

man i can still remember comms test. lol

The last few weeks have been tough. MFA pangseing me after telling me to go down for the interview, the initial disappointment of getting rejected by NUS Law. Wondering in limbo while most of my friends got offered mostly their first choice. Realising that STC was really a dead-end vocation, with the perfect Molotov cocktail of trainees and instructors. only getting NTU econs (3rd choice, basically telling me 39 for IB isn't enough for NBS). Finding out that others got stuff that i know i deserved more...

wow that's a lot of complains. the MFA one really stung though. Will never be able to forgive them.... just joking..

but it has changed over the last week. slightly. The NUS Law interview changed much. I think i did pretty ok lah. Managed to counter most of the interviewers arguements without deviating from my main stand. Don't know that's what they want.

many people i known have got FASS acceptance letters from NUS. Not me. I'm not getting that. I'm getting the Law acceptance letter. Period.

(change of tone)
wow i sure sound confident...

after filling up AC's survey, i kinda feel that i had a lot of unvented frustration from my 2 years. interesting..

well the waiting game continues... i'm going to be in for an interesting 14 or so days.

Have been listening to 'Modern Minds and Pastimes' by The Click Five. love that album. am also hearing Jason Mraz's new album. Starting to have a liking to loungy type of music. helps me relax. way too stressed waiting.

one thing about this song, is that you can swap the name for any other, the meaning would still be the same

Jenny - The Click Five

She calls me baby
Then she won't call me,
Says she adores me
And then ignores me.

Jenny
What's the problem?

She keeps her distance
And sits on fences
Puts up resistance
And builds defenses

Jenny
What's the problem?

You leave me hanging on the line,
Everytime you change your mind.

First you say you won't
Then you say you will
You keep me hanging on,
And we're not moving on
Or standing still, Jenny
You've got me on my knees
Jenny
It's killing me

She needs her own space
She's playing mind games
Ends up at my place
Saying that she's changed

Jenny
What's the problem?

I'm trying to read between the lines
You got me going out of my mind

First you say you won't
Then you say you will
You keep me hanging on
And we're not moving on.
Or standing still, Jenny
You've got me on my knees

Jenny
It's killing me...
It's killing me...
It's killing me...

Jennnnny...

First you say you won't
Then you say you will
You keep me hanging on
And we're not moving on
Or standing still, Jenny
You've got me on my knees

Jenny...
First you say you won't
Then you say you will
You keep me hanging on
And we're not moving on
Or standing still, Jenny
You've got me on my knees

Jenny...
It's killing me...
It's killing me...

2008-05-11T20:58:00.002+08:00

I thank all of you who have given me your best wishes for tomorrow. Never could have done anything without my friends.

When i first heard the news on wed nite, on the way from camp, i was ecstatic.

Now as i'm less then 12 hours from the beginning, i'm nervous.

not apprehensive thankfully, but nervous no doubt.

"what questions will they ask?', 'what kind of test questions?'

well no time to worry now. Personal statement is done, paperwork all done.

now it's in God's hands.

Science can be memorized and mastered. Humans cannot.
Formulas can be learned and mastered, feelings cannot
How do justify, quantify and control something that is so varied?

i guess it's just instinct. I hope for my success in this field.

2008-05-07T19:10:00.001+08:00

I guess God does test our faith in him through tribulations..

and i think the last 2 weeks have really been such trials...

but He does help us, and I think i've been given such an opportunity and a blessing.

I must not blow this anymore...

NUSLaw interview 120508... woo hoo

2008-05-04T15:59:00.002+08:00

Soreness has given way to stoic acceptance...

but yet sores still remain...

back to the mundane life of a CQ-in-training, hope i don't die when on-job training starts...

woo hoo went army museum on fri and got to try out SAR-21 in IMT, still prefer my M16S1 if you ask me..

And Iron Man rocks your socks, especially his workstation. That's what you call technology.

2008-04-27T20:39:00.002+08:00

The last week...

i have been thinking a lot. wondering what to do next.

i've been thrown obstacles in my way. i have been obstructed by bureaucracy, i have been hindered by miscommunications, i have been stopped by stupidity.

now i wonder. now i think. now i consider my next move.

to shores abroad? or to another calling in our island? our island that is unwilling to accept changes, reluctant to accommodate alternatives..

can i afford the burden (both financial and social) of living abroad?
can i live without those dearest to me..

this wouldn't have happened if I had not chosen to wear the glorious title of a pioneer...

my instincts were right in 2003, if only i trusted them...

2008-04-20T12:32:00.002+08:00

It's all a lie..

everything that we have blindly accepted as fact is true everywhere else, but in our own home island.

Who said that our programme is better than the original?

Who said that our programme is more recognized worldwide than the original?

How can locals have a cut-off grade higher than oxbridge?

fucking hell we've been scammed.

i don't want to say much, I just want to wish all the lucky few all the best.

This place is screwed up.

2008-04-06T20:08:00.005+08:00

I think i'll only be blogging on a weekly basis now, due to my commitments.

(no it's not a commitment you fool...)

Anyway it has been uneventful week (with regard to STC/NS stuff), and eventful (in everything else)

STC has been usual, loads of lectures on thing that are (self-admittedly) depended on unit procedures, and mostly learned on the job.

The only thing i have been doing that was mind-stimulating was reading my book (Manchu and Han, A Study on Inter-racial Divisions in Late Qing and Early Republican China)

ok chim i know. My bunk mates say that too.. But this is balanced out by the FoxTrot and Dilbert comics..

On nights out, i checked my email
"We have considered your application thoroughly, and we regret that we are unable to offer you a PSC scholarship"

First thought: "argh damn it"
Second thought: "Haha i didn't expect much from it. It's ok. now back to playing PSP till 2130"

Next day, during break between the time-sucking hole of lectures...

"Hello, is this Jonathan?"
"Yeah"
"I'm calling from Ministry of Foreign Affairs. In your PSC application you stated that your first choice is our ministry, and we would like you to come down for a psychometric test." (Very quickly)
"huh, i didn't get that, could you kindly repeat?"
(repeat)
"Ok, so when is this test?"
"We'll call you back later"

3 hours later

"ok the test is tomorrow? Can you make it?"
"I'm in camp, i'll have to give you my commander's number"

30 min later

"ok, your commander said there is no problem."

First thought: "WOO HOO BOOK OUT!!!! STAY OUT!!! NO STANDBY BUNK!!NO HLS!!!"
Second thought: "Cool looks like i still have a chance at MFA"

you can see how screwed up my life is now. My first thought (like many people i know who got called for all sorts of interviews/tests blah blah blah) is that they can book out and not eat the SFI food. Their second thought is of the interview proper. what they're going to say, what they are going to discuss.

Is this our actual priority in life?

Going to MFA (the building is awesome by the way..) and waiting in the room for other 'testees' to come. It was quite interesting to see their reactions.

"hey what are you doing here?"

it turned out that all 4 of us were IBers... yongjia, cheryl and xinling...

well at least the test ended early.

I realise that most of our esteemed ladies have purpose in their lives. Their work is beneficial to the society in large. They find meaning in their work...

'ARTI!!! INCOMING!!"
well what we do is beneficial to society as well...

damn i want to go airforce school... grrr

(In other news)

Yesterday was KD and Ash's birthday. too bad ash didn't come.
Kd had an exceptional 'Fish and Co' birthday celebration haha...
Too bad i couldn't stay for the after-cake playground talk-cock session. had to go for another talk-cock session with V3 people..

why must we cut short hair.. lol

ok better prepare myself for book-in tmr..

I pray for a peace of mind. Let your guiding hand be on everything i do. Give me the serenity to accept everything that comes my way. Give me the humility to accept setbacks.

I pray that God you would grant me my chosen path in life.

Like Cherie said, God knows what's best for me.

2008-03-30T21:29:00.002+08:00

As i always say, music says more about one's feelings than plain words.

Love is A Losing Game - Amy Winehouse

For you I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five story fire as you came
Love is a losing game

One I wish I never played
Oh what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Played out by the band
Love is a losing hand
More than I could stand
Love is a losing hand

Self professed... profound
Till the chips were down
...know you're a gambling man
Love is a losing hand

Though I'm rather blind
Love is a fate resigned
Memories mar my mind
Love is a fate resigned

Over futile odds
And laughed at by the gods
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game

Maybe what Mike and Keith said is correct. I think that i don't let her express herself sufficiently. Unfortunately, that's my personality. A hindrance maybe, but i like it that way...

Fun-o-Rama XIX wasn't that great, i had 250 dollars of free coupons, and i blew it on shirts, notebooks and mugs. gave some away to timmies and joshua, joy and qien...

they told me that the haunted house wasn't great. well the amount of people queuing up for it mustn't have came there before...

well back to STC again, looking forward to nite out on wed....

is it that obvious? i don't even know

2008-03-27T20:02:00.003+08:00

it's been a long time since i've blogged...

so with my next 3.5 hours of free time, i will have to vent my frustrations (legally) here.

1) I couldn't get a referee's report for my NUS scholarships forms. I'm just pissed that i couldn't get one, due to my NS commitments.
(damn it's not a commitment, it's more like compulsory...)
I'm just hoping and praying that i would get a letter from NUS, requesting me to go for the Law Faculty Interview.

2) Why must stay in at STC?
grrrrrrrr. bloody previous batch haha...
at least over here the commanders encourage you to speak your mind, not like in tekong, where it's all suck thumb. this leads me to my third point.

3) I miss V Coy. I miss tekong.

i can't believe i'm saying this. just 3 weeks ago i was counting down the days when i could leave that dreaded island. Now i'm back on the mainland, and i miss my bunk.
more importantly, i miss the people. Stuff like the 'I am Rambo', and all the in-bunk footie and drawing blood, i wish i could relive. I never got to thank all the people who made my 'stay' in V3 as a memorable one. So to all V3, thanks a lot..

now back to training 4 months to be a CQ. bloody hell

2008-03-23T21:26:00.001+08:00

going to new unit tomorrow.

STC @ Sembawang Camp. whatever that means

I shall blog more after Man U v Liverpool..

LET'S GO YOU MANCS!

2008-03-14T00:48:00.002+08:00

it's kinda interesting.. that the other sex feels that army is like a good thing..

well, 7 weeks in tekong have desensitized me to all that NE stuff...

haha hahahaha..

well today i went for platoon level 5-5 footie..

well played everyone... two goals for me. one super tyco off PC, and one kinda well-placed shot pass martin almunia..

haha now my back is killing me, super how many times fall..

well off to do more uni applications, and hopefully get a reply from my referee...

it's a good start, everything needs a start, pity there's only army in my head..

2008-03-09T16:26:00.000+08:00

this has to be the happiest book-in i'll ever have..

lol POC in 2 days!

and i got another prize... haha

2008-03-07T19:21:00.002+08:00

i am back for the first time (properly) ever since 250108. the day i had my life HG throw.

wow that seems such a long time ago...

now i've just finished my NUS application form, completed my MAS scholarship form as well.. time to go out tmr... any takers? i'm bored at home...

book in time, 2045 090308..

grrr

PANTAT LO!!

2008-02-24T01:55:00.002+08:00

we could have IMT on friday, but no... must be sat morn..

book out time crashes with Airshow, visitors jam up the road from SFT to Pasir Ris. waste our bookout time...

grrr...

next week confined because of range. damn.

argh POC coming coming.. tahan tahan..

2008-02-10T21:50:00.000+08:00

Somehow hair tends to grow faster when it's shorter...

my head now is full of growing hair, which unfortunately would be gone soon as well...

i can't believe that when i came back, all my pants were so loose, i could put a fist into some of them. but being lasy ole' me, i couldn't be bothered to wear a belt.

well tekong has benefits i guess..

after taking all of the MO-prescribed drugs, i had to go to my own doctor to get re-diagnosed, cos after 5 days, i'm still feeling like crap.

haven't had a piece of bak kua or most CNY makan, damn i will make it up next year, when i have a full head of hair.

one more month to POC, do da, do da...

2008-02-06T19:04:00.000+08:00

unlike most other people, i have quite a long time till book in day (12/2)

so i gotta go and enjoy myself, and remember that i have to prepare for field camp.

damn it i hate going outfield after a rain, which it has been since 4 days ago..

ok going for dinner now.

we are oh are infantry ya
we are the men from viper company yah!

2008-01-24T22:50:00.000+08:00

tekong!!!

will be away till 6 feb, so bye bye bye!!

purple light, in the valley, there is where, i wanna be, with my gun, and my buddy,

WITH MY RIFLE AND MY BUDDY AND ME..EE...EE

2008-01-23T12:27:00.000+08:00

i reiterate my point. some people have ABSOLUTELY no sense of time.

or memory for that matter. or CARE FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS!

ok i'm still bitter. but it good that i get it out of my head before i shave it.

but i think what someone else said to me was right.

'either you still have feelings for her, or you just want that kind of relationship'.

while she was right on the first point, she was only half-right on the second point. i don't want that kind of frivolous relationship. i need something personal, something sensitive.

but it would be more fulfilling than what i saw.

i ran and ran and ran, scaring somebody on the way. i just wanted to get away from the intoxicating atmosphere. one that filled me with bitterness and anger.

i mean, come on, i didn't even get a chance, after 2 long years... it's not fair...

God works in mysterious ways, sometimes it's just too incomprehensible for me. but well...

less than 48 hours to tekong! i also wanted to have someone precious to me in camp. but whatever. i have my OC, and PS and blah blah blah...

2 weeks later, its CNY!!

2008-01-22T23:50:00.000+08:00

As they always say, a picture paints a thousand words.
so instead of a picture, i'll use a song.

it's usually the best way to express myself.

Wouldn't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5

I asked her to stay but she wouldn't listen
She left before I had the chance to say
Oh
The words that would mend the things that were broken
But now it's far too late, she's gone away

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe that

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

The taste of her breath, I'll never get over
The noises that she made kept me awake
Oh
The weight of things that remain unspoken
Built up so much it crushed us everyday

Every night you cry yourself to sleep
Thinking: "Why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe that

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

Of all the things I felt but never really shown
Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go
I should not ever let you go, oh oh oh

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you
And I won't go home without you
And I won't go home without you
And I won't go home without you

i hate this. and it's not NS
somehow i think NS would be a welcome relief.

2008-01-22T00:31:00.000+08:00

i don't know why i'm blogging again, it must be the coffee.

i have 2 more dinners before i go in. my bags are packed. i don't know what to do for the next few days. i should be exercising but i'll be doing loads of it in camp anyway. is there anything i've left undone? i think i should have more things to do than just blog here. i love you. i need some cocktails. no one to have a drink with.

wow i'm having another attack by the HMS Stream-of-Consciousness. well let's fire a broadside in retaliation!

i feel like playing another round of dotA AI -ar. should i?

maybe, i'm high on coffee and bored.

there is no such thing as a non-inclusive relationship. a part-time relationship.

man i just coined a new phrase.

it must be the coffee, it must be the coffee.

randomness is good..

AND THE BEST STUDENTS AREN'T PICKY NYP!! (stupid radio ad)

come come my baby, you're my butterfly. sugar baby..

THE BUTTERFLY: Eaglehorn + Quarterstaff + Recipe (3300 + 1150 + 1800) you do the math.

this has been the most random thing i have done on this blog.

2008-01-22T00:14:00.000+08:00

The countdown begins!

haha it's like a trip to the gallows and scaffold, but it's not that depressing yet...

well it's good to get it started, and thus over with soon!

730 days to ORD!! can hardly wait..

girls have no sense of time i swear...

2008-01-20T00:00:00.001+08:00

I hate deja vu.

all i can say

again. i want to criticize the madness of the irresponsible statements used to inflate certain courses.

people with an equivalent of top students in the world and Singapore, are afraid they can't get into the course they want.

there is too much uncertainty, and thus students fear unnecessarily.

we need to have clear information, and thus we can make an informed decision.

please.

2008-01-15T13:58:00.000+08:00

i love my seat here, and the music (from my iPod that is) is soothing... brings me back to a happier age.

then why am i so frustrated about Unis!?

i mean, after sifting through the morass of university application and stuff. i can only conclude.

i can't get to study law in the UK, cos i can't seem to find any form of scholarships, whether offered by universities, or by organizations.

it seems that only people with money can do that, as they can afford the 9,000 pounds tuition fees, plus the other costs of living in there.

i'm not complaining against anyone here, but 39 seems too inadequate.

i told myself that i would be happy with anything above 37, but know, 39 seems like rubbish.

who said that 36-39 can apply for ivy league, oxbridge? it's just too good to be true.

there are too many other considerations for such applications, in that MONEY seems to be the biggest factor.

so in the end, money is still a factor, the biggest one (even before academic qualifications). If you have the dough, you can go anywhere you want (of course provided you aren't that bad in studying lah)

i guess i know where i'll be going then, across the AYE (whoops i mean down Bukit Timah Rd) to the 33rd best uni in the world.

cheers to me, i'm bored.

2008-01-14T00:11:00.000+08:00

Everyone i know (well, most of them) are already in camp.

well although that makes me feel slightly lonely, i think that i have some benefits.

well, after what i hear, i gather that the '90 cohort is really despo.

stop hitting on girls, well if you do, please do it properly.

haha this is random.

2008-01-10T22:07:00.000+08:00

Shit and i thought after the results are out, that would be it..

haha now the overwhelming information about scholarships and applications come screaming back into my face...

haha while i have much minimal distractions over the next 2 weeks, i should get these stuff settled..

to all those who are going in 11th/14th/25th jan. well good luck! God bless...

2008-01-09T23:43:00.000+08:00

Lol one last outing with ashley today..

haha and i finally tried sex on the beach (the drink), and it's really quite nice.. (the drink i mean)

haha now with so many people going into NS now, i think it's a good thing, so that i can focus on the uni applications, and hopefully try for some scholarships

haha all the best to everyone!

2008-01-08T00:48:00.001+08:00

Praise God, through whom all mercies flow!

haha congrats to everyone who got their results! although it might have not been up to expectations.. who cares?

that piece of paper only has one function, and that is to help you get into the course you want, at the uni you want.

so chill!

Mathematics HL - 7 (OMG OMG OMG!! haha i thought we screwed up P3)
Chemistry HL - 6 (Haha i thought i would get 7, but...)
Physics HL - 6 (Expected as well. knew i would NEVER get a 7. well but that's still better than all my previous Physics grades)

Chinese B SL - 7 (duh...)
Economics SL - 7 (lol a nice surprise, but kinda expected as many felt it was easy)
English A1 SL - 5 (when i saw so many people getting 5. i knew i got 5. A tad disappointed.)

+ 1 bonus point for TOK/EE.This was disappointing, considering that i got 3 for projection. Since so many people got 1. It's better for the school to look into how to boost this area. Many people would have got 40 if not for this.

well it's over!
now for uni applications, and NS!

haha

2008-01-06T23:02:00.000+08:00

It's so soon!

results are coming out tmr! and this would truly signify the end of my 12 years in ACS.

well apparently the results are good, so don't worry too much..

i'm now floating in between a state of dreaminess, and reality.

haha go figure.

2008-01-02T00:06:00.000+08:00

Ok 24 hours into 2008...

It's a time for change, Anno Domini MMVII.

NO MORE CONCESSION FARES!!!!
arrggggghhhh......

now this means that i can't spam bus rides any more. Damn i walked back home from beauty world today just to save the bus fare.
and this also means that i MUST REMEMBER to tap the ez-link card when i get off the bus.

today on the 171 going home, i had the very unpleasant experience of hearing a woman (i hesitate to say lady, as lady infers dignity and politeness)

she had neither

quarreling with the driver as though all of us were deaf in some way, making a huge fuss about some stupid minute details. I mean come on, if the bus driver could wait for you to go down and talk or something, he might as well be your chauffeur damn it.

one thing about traveling, it makes you see how ugly and selfish we Singaporeans are as compared to most (but not all) people. only we are like this, completely disdainful of social etiquette and any form of decency.

if people just took other's needs into consideration , we would have a more pleasant society. we wouldn't need all that '4 million smiles' shit campaigns.

but enough ranting.

another thing. ytd when crossing the road near raffles city after the fireworks. there was a strong police presence at the crossings. the police would ensure that the crossings, however crowded, would be orderly.
when we were crossing, a bunch of blangas cut through the mess, holding hands and shoulders in a chain just to cut through all the people who had patiently waited for their turn to cross.

i mean, with 6.5 million people, would we have to endure this kind of squeezes and queue's everywhere, with idiots doing such stupid things all the time? I mean, economic benefits are one, but as Singapore progresses into a (all but in name) 1st-world country, we have to take other considerations, not just economic, into view.

my hope, in 2008, as i prepare to serve my nation, is that the govt recognizes the large pool of talent here in Singapore, and not always look outwards for talent. No wonder so many people our age want to leave..

2008-01-01T02:51:00.000+08:00

Well 2007 is over. and i'm hungry!

haha 2008!

well happy new year all!

I don't know why 2008 seems to have no direction or aims for me. I mean, for the next 2 years, i'll be taking orders from all sorts of people...

well but

there's still time for other objectives!

next year, we're getting a room at the westin. definitely

2007-12-29T00:16:00.000+08:00

Freak this holiday has been fast.

it's seemed such a long time since i stepped out of the cold, freezing exam hall. my head flooded with worries about Maths P3. then i realised

shit i'm done.

it's scary, this new year. A year of uncertainties, a year of a new and changed routine, from the one i've been used to for 12 years. (Jan go to school, slack till apr, mug for mids, slack till sept, mug for finals, repeat)

Now it's BMT,army talk for 2 years. We'll bore everyone but ourselves...

no more textbooks, now it's SAR manuals. no more white and blue, now it's no. 4's.

well well. we've always been talking about moving on, moving to a new environment, a new situation.

But as i come to the doormat, i hesitate.

is this what i want?

unfortunately, i can't turn back time (or i'll vanish due to the theory of relativity... haha). so forward into the tunnel we go, with our faith in Christ our lamp...

haha it's 29th Dec! 2008 approaches. Need a good place to go party or something..

and mr kd, please, it's a chance to get out of the army routine, and you want to continue with it when you book out. oh come on..

haha...

2007-12-26T13:18:00.000+08:00

The ladies i know have a common weakness...

duty-free shopping

coach.burberry.ralph lauren.etc etc

well well..

ok its good that HK airport has free WiFi. it's so much easier to sign in that in Singapore

well so Christmas is over, and my holiday has passed! Looking forward to new year's (but not results! haha)

cheers!

2007-12-25T10:56:00.000+08:00

merry Christmas to all....

going back to sunny singapore tmr.. back to humidity

2007-12-24T00:17:00.000+08:00

The time now is 0019, 241207

it has been a long time since i've been to Hong Kong, but this trip has taken many detours.
In this past week, i've realised the vastness, and the uniqueness of the vast Chinese Diaspora that spans across the globe. In a radius of 500 miles, we can observe 4 different types.

1) Chinese originating here: 中華民國（台灣省）
(For those who can't be bothered to find out, this translates to the Republic of China (Province of Taiwan))

Ironically, (and politically acceptable to the authorities across the strait), the government (in-exile) in Taipei claims sovereignty over all of China, as well as Mongolia, and parts of Russia, India etc. To that effect, the banknotes, although called by everyone as 台幣, states that the central bank originates for Nanjing.

The people here are quite unique in a way. firstly, their calendar doesn't say 2007, it says 96. To the uninformed (me included when i arrived), that means 中華民國 96 年, in which year one is 1912 (after the founding of the Republic in Mainland China).

Secondly, the accent is much clearer, less foggy and more friendly and delicate as compared to their neighbours to the west. When they say, for example, welcome, you can feel their warmth, albeit their slight over-expression of the 'cute-cute' expression (haha i know that's quite hard to say)

Unlike most Chinese, Taiwanese have not hatred for the Japanese up to the North. Occupied by Japan for 50 years till 1945, Japanese culture and infrastructure dominates Taiwan, and Taipei especially. Taiwanese fashion is closely modeled on Japanese fashions, and the stream of Japanese businesses and tourists fuels their economy. Heck, Takeshi Kanishiro is half Taiwanese, and grew up speaking Chinese.

Their society also contradicts itself in some ways. Although their buildings are awfully crammed, and their traffic shows a distinct lack of co-ordination, their citizens show a extremely high level of education and all-rounded civic education. In subway stations, they queue neatly in a line beside the door, not like in HK or Singapore in which everyone crams. Travelling the escalator is orderly, as those who want to ride along stand to the right, letting those in a hurry to move along. All bins (despite the lack of them) are recycling bins, and recycling is a major part of city life. Even in McDonalds, there are labels telling customers whether their burger boxes are recyclable, etc.

Freedom of speech is also respected. Apparently, you can say anything you want, just warn the intended party before hand.
Taiwan has given me a good impression, the people are a refreshing change, and their food is excellent. But i wouldn't go back to anywhere else but Taipei (and maybe Kaoshiung). The tour has given me a bad taste in the mouth.

2) People from 澳門特別行政區，中華人民共和國.
Holy crap, Portuguese egg tarts rock.
Firstly, you can't tell a Macauese (or whatever they're called). Macau is full of Mainland, HK, tourists.
From the looks of it, their life is quiet and relaxed. They reap the benefits of the casinos being operated. But they refuse to let the gambling corrupt their own culture. If only Singaporeans can resist gambling.
The place seems safe, but the generally relaxed pace of Macau completely differs from their neighbours up the Pearl Delta. However, i don't think it's a great place to live. The place seems too sleazy, with lap dances mixing with casinos. The only exception i saw was in the Venetian (which is one hell of a place.)

3) People from 香港特別行政區，中華人民共和國.
The most similar to us. No wonder we two are so closely compared.
Similarities include:
English-speaking, Loads of food, Packed with people, good shopping, the list goes on.
No where in the world, can you find a country in which across a river, people exonerate the greatness of a political entity (no prizes for guessing which one..), and on the other side, people protest like hell against it.
But HK is freaking too packed. Today, i think i saw like 100,000 Indon and Pinoy maids gathered around my hotel, having a picnic. The whole of Causeway Bay was packed with people.
But, all the more, that makes them like us Singaporeans.

and of course, there are the mainlanders from the mainland.

it's ironic that a pirated DVD store in Shenzhen can openly display a warning telling people not to buy 'DVDs sold from the roadside', as they are 'poor quality and they using the fake money'

talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

Shenzhen is a great example of China's growth. Many high-rise buildings, many designer stores. Yet at the same time, an equal number of fake stores, combined with a horrible air quality, and quite a mess of a traffic.

However, go anywhere in Greater China, there they are.

(With the exception of Taiwan, of course they're not allowed there).

China is indeed a weird place.

2007-12-20T19:10:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow will mark 9 days in Taiwan, including 4 in Taipei.

notes from an isolated (politically), but not in anything else, island..

1) Taiwan isn't that big, but bus rides can seem an eternity, going up and down those mountains.

2) There is a difference between Mainland Chinese, Taiwanese Chinese, Singaporean Chinese, Malaysian Chinese, HK Chinese, etc.

3) Do not call Taiwanese Chinese, they are '台湾人'

4) Taiwanese seem to have a comment for anything and everything. 100% more friendly than Mainlanders.

5) TAIWANESE OVERDOSE OF TV!!! ARGHH!!

6) Food is good, arranged food at 'tourist restaurants' are rubbish

7) Taipei, one of the best cities for shopping in Asia. (Better than any Mainland city)

8) In Singapore we have 4 languages in MRT announcements, so do Taiwanese (Chinese, Hokkien, Hakka, English)

9) Please seperate your trash into recyclable stuff and non. (Even in Macs)

10) Please line up on the right of escalators, and on the right of the door at 'jie-yun' (MRT) stations. 捷运 just seems so much nicer than 地铁.

11) Taiwanese politicians all wear weird vests with their name and party insignia, all with pumped-fists actions trying to win votes.

12) There is a real lack of souvenir shops here in Taiwan, but an excess of women's fashion shops, and shoe shops. A pair of Onitsuka Tiger (by Asics) for NT990. Damn cheap man.

13) For every 'lah' Singaporeans use, Taiwanese says 'awwww' and elongate their last word..

ok i'm going for dinner now, last night in taipei, but i've walked everywhere and i'm tired from the first run/gym in ages.

haha lucky guys got 2 big and 1 small pub hol before 1/1.

2007-12-15T22:01:00.000+08:00

I love this hotel!

so i've been in taiwan for 4 days. been to a hell lot of different cities...

taoyuan.yehliu.chiufen.hualien.taitung.kaohsiung.tainan

haven't even got into taipei yet, oh well...

so far, the arranged meals (i.e breakfast, lunch and dinner) have been better than OEP food, but not anywhere near the great and excellent food sold in every taiwanese night market or food centre...

and i've just realised that taiwan loves their japanese food/designs etc.

nippon-go!

well driving up and down, and up the mountains is not a very pleasant thing, especially when you are going at 40kmh..

it's boring and slow in equal measure...

and iPod batteries can last only one day under intense usage..

haha will blog more when i reach Fullerton Taipei, where there is internet!

sayonara..